It is funny how emotions like anger get the creative juices flowing. Josh had the balls to hit me up today and ask me if I am OK. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

His first text came through this morning when a good friend of mine and I were texting and he asked how my vacation was. I just sat and stared at the text wondering what I should do. I ended up texting back politely and said, “it was a great vacation, thank you for asking.” Thinking he would be smart enough to leave it at that. I did not ask him anything back.

No, the fucker is not smart and he asked me, “You doing ok?” Wrong thing to ask buddy. In what goddamn world do you think you can ask someone if they are doing ok if you just shit on them with cheating with “45” behind his back. Seriously? Are you that stupid?

I did respond with his argument, a failed one if you ask me. He said he was sorry that I am hurt. HURT? Hurt would require that my heart was involved. I was never able to spend enough time with him to get my heart involved so, NO Josh, I am not hurt. As I have said before, My ego is more bruised than anything.

The experience reminds me of a guy I dated years and years ago before I met Kerry. I found out he was cheating on me through a very dear friend, Doug who is still a friend of mine to this day. Bob and I had been dating, and things seemed to be going pretty well. He was so damn cute and sweet.

Bob had made the comment that he had no friends. So I introduced Bob to this guy because Bob and this guy had gone to the same mission for the LDS church. Bob wanted friends and I thought this guy could be one. Turned out they became so much more. LMAO. That is until that guys boyfriend contacted me and asked If I knew those 2 were fucking. HUH?! I was stunned. I had no clue. Maybe it means I a naive? Or just never look for signs because I don’t expect it to happen? I don’t know. Anyway I invited Doug over to the house I was renting.

Doug spilled the beans and told me everything. He told me just how long it had been going on and how he found out. I as livid to say the least.

I asked Bob is he wanted to go get coffee one morning and picked him up at the house he was living at. I took Bob on a ride and confronted him. He actually had the nerve to get angry with me. He blamed it on me. I sat and listened for as long as I could and then I kicked him out of my car and told him to find his own way home. I never saw him again. That is to say until he started dating and married Dougs 2nd boyfriend Tony, who was one of my best friends.

It is probably a blessing for Josh that he did not try to tell me when we were supposedly on our date in Park City. he would have found himself finding his own ride home. I have way more dignity than that to spend and uncomfortable and awkward 45 minute ride down the mountain with someone you just found out is cheating on you and now they want to make it Official.

I am sure you have heard the saying. A zebra cannot change his stripes. And the same goes for Josh. Maybe “45” will find that out. Once a cheater always a cheater.

I tried to make nice with Bob for Tony’s sake. They came and stayed several times at my house for Pride and other events. And every single time Tony would go to bed and Bob would be making out with a friend of mine upstairs. He was always on the apps looking for hook-ups while Tony and I would be talking. Tony, Kerry, and I laughed so much when we were together. I really do miss that part. I hope Tony is happy.

I do know that Kerry went to see them in Palm Springs prior to his death. I hope they were able to lend him their support and not spend the entire time bashing on me. That would not help Kerry. I do miss my friendship with Tony. But, I understand his support for his husband, even though he is a cheater.

We stopped being friends because I was tired of Bob making out upstairs and I may have had too much to drink and I stormed out of my room and yelled. “are you finished making out with my friends, you piece of shit?’ They clearly did not stay the night and I have not seen either of them since. oh well.

Now I am not saying that Josh will do that. But he seems to have a pattern. Good for him. He and “45” can go Fuck themselves.