I don’t know about you, but I miss the good old days — the real dating days.

Back in the 90s, you went out. You met people. You danced. You looked someone in the eye instead of at a damn phone screen.

There was a bar in town called The Sun.
In my twenties, that place was my heaven. Tuesday and Saturday nights, I’d dance my ass off and meet guys. There was a lesbian bouncer named Blue checking IDs at the door.

I still remember my first night there. I was 25 — blonde hair, preppy clothes, total newbie energy. Blue looked at my ID, then at me, and said, “You’re new here. If anyone messes with you, you come get me.”

I felt safe.
I felt seen.
And I met some amazing people there — some, like Jake, who are still friends to this day.

The Way It Used to Be

Meeting guys at the club was easy. You’d dance, make eye contact across the room, flirt without words, then eventually walk over and talk.

That’s the key word — talk.

We’d shout over the music, laugh, maybe share a drink, maybe a dance (okay, definitely a grind or two if the song was good). Sometimes we’d go home together, sometimes we’d just exchange numbers. I wasn’t a total whore — LOL — but at least we connected.

You got to know someone, face-to-face.

Not like today.

Now it’s all apps, profiles, and “looking for…” blurbs. No one talks. No one takes initiative. No one risks rejection.

It’s like everyone’s waiting for someone else to make the first move.

The Modern Dating Circus

The thing I’m learning about dating apps is that most guys aren’t assertive anymore. (And no, I don’t mean aggressive — I mean confident.)

The same faces show up day after day, month after month. Do they actually want to meet someone? Or are they just there to scroll, flirt, and disappear?

Half of them can’t even manage a “hey.”
The other half say things so gross they could peel paint off a wall.

Case in point: one guy actually messaged me, “I want to suck you so hard I can taste the pee in your…” — you know what, never mind. You get it.

WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.
Who says that?

And if they’re not creepers, they’re flakes. Guys who say, “We should hang out sometime,” but never follow through.

Here’s a thought: if you say you want to get together, then ask me out.
How hard is that?

You’ve got my number. Use it.

Say something like, “Hey, I like talking to you. Want to grab a coffee or a drink?”
Boom. Done. It’s not rocket science.

Instead, I’m over here thinking I’d pass out cold if someone actually made the first move for once.

What I Want (and Don’t Want)

After 25 years with Kerry, I know exactly what I don’t want.

I don’t want another wimp.
I don’t want another flake.
I don’t want to carry a relationship on my back again.

I spent too many years taking care of someone who never really took care of me. Kerry was older, but he was never self-sufficient. I handled the house, the bills, the plans — all of it.

So yeah, maybe it’s not bad to say this out loud:

I want someone who can take care of me sometimes.

Not a sugar daddy — just a partner.
Someone equal.
Someone who takes initiative.

Someone who can see when I’m struggling, wrap their arms around me, and make me feel safe for once.

The Simple Things

I don’t think I’m asking for much.

Maybe it’s a warm bath waiting when I’ve had a rough day — a glass of wine, a book, soft light.
Maybe it’s a romantic dinner they planned without me having to ask.

Just the feeling that someone’s got me.

Because after years of giving everything, I’m finally ready to admit —
sometimes, I want to be taken care of too.

— Standing on the Edge