It has been nearly 2 weeks since l learned my ex-partner, Kerry Sanford, passed away suddenly due to a roll over crash in his truck in Kansas. I had a difficult time putting together all of the details of the crash because his family is not talking. I guess they do not want anyone to know what happened. There was no funeral announcement, not arrangements made by a funeral home. I know because my contractor I work with in Pocatello called around. He couldn’t find anything.

I have been able to stay in contact with both of his nieces, Haley and Katie. Haley was actually the one who called and told me of Kerry’s death. I called Katie to see if she had heard anything and turns out, I was actually the one that ended up telling her Kerry had passed. Funny enough, Kerry’s mother did not invite Katie to the memorial she had because she thought Katie was the one who told me. How sad is that for his family and for his mother’s character.

There have been many ups and downs over the past days. I talk to Kerry a lot and my finger points at my ceiling as I am talking to him. I am sure all 5 of my dogs thinks I am crazy. It feels good to talk to him. I keep remembering people from Kerry’s past who are already up there and say things like, “Oh, did Bev run up to you and give you a big hug?”

I am sure she did and I know there were several others up there, his dad, his grandparents, Beverly Olivaz, and especially our chocolate Lab, Bailey. The thought of that reunion makes me choke up every time I think about it. Bailey has been gone for over 13 years. It was time Bailey had one of his Dad’s up there to pal around with. I like to think Bailey is right by Kerry’s side.

Good has come from Kerry’s passing. I have reconnected with 3 people I desperately wanted to continue to have in my life. One of my best friends of all time, Tracy Peterson. My long time friend from my Advertising days, Christine Menges, Whom I also consider one of my best friends. And of course, My “little brother, Dart Driggs. I missed them all so much and it was good to catch up with them.

I still need to reconnect on a happier level with Tracy. She called me the first night I found out about Kerry and posted on Facebook. It was all tears and lots of apologies for the way I acted towards her. I want her in my life no matter what.

Dart came and spent the afternoon last Sunday with me and Brian and Brian and Belinda’s house. We sat out on the deck and talked, laughed, made amends, talked about camping. I sent him a text later and told him how blessed if felt for having him in my life and how special the day was for him coming over.

Christine, She and I can pick up and talk as if a day has not gone by. We talked this past Saturday about so many things. Kerry, life updates, Christine’s amazing kids. It was a lot of fun. I was in the kitchen talking to her on the phone and circling my island. I totally forgot I had my muddy shoes on from working in the garden. When I remembered, I looked down to see I had created a ring of dirt all around the kitchen. I guess it was time to clean the house.

We have only talked about the good times with Kerry. That is the way I want to remember him. That is all I have asked of people to talk to me about are the good memories they have of Kerry. I will bare the bad ones myself. People do not need to hear those.