Standing on the Edge: What Turns Us On and Why We Hide It

Let’s be honest — desire is a funny thing.

It’s personal, unpredictable, sometimes even confusing.
What turns us on isn’t always what we expect — and it’s rarely what we admit out loud.

For a long time, I carried a lot of shame around that. Not because I was doing anything wrong, but because I thought I was.

The Private Side of Pleasure

We all have those things — the fantasies, the curiosities, the parts of ourselves we tuck away behind a closed door and pretend don’t exist. Maybe it’s because of how we were raised, what we were taught, or what we think people would say if they really knew us.

But the truth is, there’s freedom in owning what you want.
It’s not about performing for someone else; it’s about understanding yourself.

For me, that’s been a journey — learning to separate shame from curiosity.
I used to judge myself for the things I found exciting or different.
Now, I try to look at them with curiosity instead of guilt.

Unlearning the Shame

Being with Kerry for 25 years, so much of my identity got wrapped up in being what someone else needed. My own wants, both emotional and physical, got buried under layers of compromise.

When that ended, I had to relearn who I was — not just what I liked, but why.

That’s where things get interesting. Because when you stop censoring yourself, you start to see that desire isn’t dirty — it’s human.
It’s communication.
It’s play.
It’s truth.

The Freedom in Owning It

We live in a world that tells us what’s “normal.” But what’s normal, really?

If you like something, and it’s safe, consensual, and kind — that’s all that should matter.

I’ve learned that embracing your own quirks doesn’t make you weird. It makes you real.

And maybe, the more honest we are about what excites us, the easier it becomes to actually connect — because we’re not pretending anymore.

Standing on the Edge

So yeah, maybe this isn’t a post about scandal. Maybe it’s just about honesty.

We all have our “thing.”
The difference is, I’m finally done hiding mine.

Not to shock anyone.
Not to prove a point.
Just because I’ve spent too many years apologizing for who I am — and I’m not doing that anymore.

There’s power in naming what you want.
There’s peace in not being ashamed of it.

That’s what standing on the edge really means to me now — not fear, but freedom.

— Standing on the Edge