Standing on the Edge: Watching the Memorial

I watched the videos from the memorial they held for Kerry in Salt Lake City.
Three of his aunts were there, along with some cousins. It was good to see them — faces that were part of my life for so long.

Angie was there too. I met her the same night I met Kerry — Memorial Day weekend, over 25 years ago, at a bar called Bricks.
She was a big part of Kerry’s world, and a good friend to me. Fiercely protective of him, as she should’ve been. We had a lot of good times — helping her buy her first and second homes, spending weekends rehabbing them, even digging up bushes from my boss’s yard to plant at her new place. I painted the whole exterior of that house.
Those were good memories.

The memorial itself, though… was complicated.
Apparently, I was cast as the “toxic ex” — the villain in Kerry’s story.
LMAO. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, right?

There was one person there in particular who clearly had a chip on her shoulder. I’ll admit, before watching, I was nervous — not about them, but about me. I wondered if seeing all that again would knock me off balance.
Would it bring back the depression? Would I cry? Would I start drinking again?

Nope.
None of that happened.

I watched every video with calm. Even laughed at some of the stories. Kerry loved telling stories — same ones over and over — and now they’ll live on through everyone he told them to. His Aunt Liola even retold the “Titty Story.” She nailed it. I should message Teresa about that — she’d get a kick out of it.

Then Rhonda got up to speak.
She said she’d reconnected with Kerry after our split, back in November. She told everyone how proud she was of him — proud that he finally “got out of our toxic relationship.” The one I apparently caused. She called me unkind. Uncaring.
That part hit me sideways.

Because here’s the thing — I helped her too. I did a lot for her. But people love rewriting history when it makes them look better.
Yeah, I’m being petty, but it’s hard not to roll my eyes when someone who can’t manage their own finances decides to call me the toxic one.

I got her a great home loan, helped her when she was in a bind.
But like I told Kerry back then, I knew she’d refinance herself right out of being able to afford it. And sure enough, she did. Lost the house. Ended up in a townhome.

What she didn’t mention at that memorial was how she screwed Kerry out of a commission on both a sale and a purchase.
She called him over to her home, pretending she wanted him to list it. He was so excited — it was going to be a big deal for him. He gave her advice, walked her through pricing, brought all the paperwork.
Then at the end, she tells him they’re going with someone else — using that same person to buy their new place.
But she used all his advice. Every word.

She hurt him deeply. But I doubt that came up during their little “reconnection.”
Truth is, he never liked her. The only reason he was probably talking to her at all was because she gave him an audience for his victim stories.

Apparently, they did a butterfly send-off at the memorial. I’m guessing my client provided the butterflies, so — in a weird twist — I might’ve made money off the memorial. LOL.
Rhonda made sure everyone knew she’d post the video to Facebook so I could see it.
Too bad for her, I’d already blocked her.
Vindictiveness spoiled. So sad.

Last weekend, I said goodbye to Kerry — really said it this time.

I’ll remember him for who he truly was — both the good and the bad.
He wasn’t a monster. He wasn’t cruel.
He was an addict. And the addiction took over.

At the end, he wasn’t himself.

And that’s how I’ll remember him — as someone who mattered, even when he was lost.

— Standing on the Edge