Well, I am doing this! I am really doing this! I have never posted my blog, to the public, anywhere because I was struggling with it trying to figure out what to say. Thinking did I really have anything to say? But, I just posted the link to my Instagram account. Shit is going to get real! I originally started my Instagram account as a place to document my adventures. Adventures being defined as outdoor excursions, camping trips, hikes, future paddle boarding etc. While that will still be the case and I intend to go on a lot of those type of adventures this year, I realized one big thing.
LIFE IS AN ADVENTURE!
It is whatever you make of it really. Life CAN be an adventure or it can be a tragedy. So I thought ,why not capitalize on this life adventure and document the past and most importantly, the future! UGH. In my mind that sounds super awesome and amazing and totally full of Disney moments. WTF ever! I am going to use my little slice of the internet to memorialize my faults, mis-steps, accomplishments, and OH SHIT moments. This blog is where I am going to talk about my life up to 50 and what I am going to do about it. How I will change and improve and become better. It is where I will talk about the fact that at 49, while eyeing that big 50 milestone, I came to the realization that I feel like I fucked up!
It isn’t really anyone’s fault I fucked up. I can’t point at my parents and say, “FUCKERS it is all your fault.” I am not really a product of my environment. The system didn’t let me down., Oh and the big excuse, because my Dad says this all the time. “God must hate me, because it is his fault that I am the way that I am” NO. Not true. I am educated. I am successful -ish, on the outside LIFE looks good!
But here I am now and I have two choices i think,
- Learn from my past, get over it and make the future what I want it to be
- Wallow in my misery, don’t do anything and chalk it up to my fate.
Sound about right? At least it sounds right in my mind. I am going to choose Door number 1 please! I don’t want to become that statistic. Another one bites the dust type story. So at 49 when I was circling in on what I was calling at the time, my “Fit at 50” year, I took stock of my life. I would not call it pretty. It was brutal. It was uncomfortable boarding on painful. It was shocking.
I had a great house, great job, nice car, awesome dogs, great partner of almost 20 years. And yet I was over weight, drinking way too much, not a penny set aside for retirement (big reveal) and feeling very unsatisfied with everything. I was unhappy. I would almost go to the point to say that I became depressed with what I saw. It was embarrassing and painful to scrutinize myself like this. But again, I had a choice, and i chose to learn & move forward. I hired a life coach, and a financial planner to start with.I needed to get my life back on track.
But, as I stated in My Life in a Nutshell (about me section on my homepage) SilverQuinn is about to come forth!
Let’s be honest, he has been in the making for a couple of years now, but It is time for him to make his debut! I am ready for the ball LOL. Kidding not really, unless they allow fat men in moo moos into the ball and there is cheesecake, then I am all in. LOL
Seriously though, I have learned a lot in the past 2 years and am continuing to learn a lot. I have even been putting what I have learned into practice and I believe that is is paying off, slowly, but getting there. I want to look to others who at 50 have had this same realization and I want to learn from them as to how they have dealt with this realization.
I believe we are put here to help those who come behind us and constantly learn and support! Ready?